I Smell Nut
by move them hands
Summary: Naruto's having a bloody nose? No. Runny nose? No...but something certainly is lounged up there. Humorous drabble, nosex, SuiNaru, COMPLETE


This is short, with nothing sexy. But it is hella funny XD at least to the person this is dedicated to.

**This is dedicated to my lovely sister** who inspired this with personal experience. *chuckles*

-

"Why can't we have a quickie?" Suigetsu whined as his boyfriend stomped down the hall a few paces before him.

"Because we dont have enough time!" Naruto shouted back, eyes darting into each room he passed. They had to leave in fifteen minutes in order to be on time for the dinner party his friends were throwing, but Naruto couldn't find his 'good' sweater anywhere!

"There is always enough time for a quickie!" the older of the two shouted as he finally quit following his boyfriend like a lost puppy and decided to stop and take a leaning post against the wall.

"Not today Suigetsu! Damn." Suddenly Naruto's eyes brightened and he disappeared into their office room only to reappear a moment later with his once missing sweater folded over his arm. He smiled brightly to his lover and nodded toward the door, "Alright, lets go!" He made to walk past the other but was haulted as a hand grabbed his arm.

"Wait! We've got like ten minutes left before we even have to leave, that means quickie time!" Suigetsu smirked, his eyes glinting with desire, as he tried to pull his boyfriend to him for a heated kiss...but was denied as the blond pulled out of his hold and shot him a dirty glare.

"You damn pervert. You can't go five minutes without some kind of sex. Tch. Its like having a 16 year old. We're leaving, _now_." The blond made it to the door, heaved it open, and even set one foot out in the hall before finally turning his head to glimpse his partner still leaning against the wall with his arms crossed.

"Guess I'm not going then." Suigetsu growled, not lifting his head to make eye contact with the blond.

"You've got to be kidding me!" Naruto brought his leg back in and shut the door behind himself with a soft click, bringing his hand up he pointed a finger at Sui as he took another step forward, "You're really starting to piss me off!" the blond bellowed.

The lanky man shrugged in responce, turning his head to stare down the hall as he tightened his arms across his chest.

Naruto wouldn't say he was surprised by Suigetsu's attitude, the man had always been horny as a rabbit, but he was damn mad that the man would be so stubborn about it!

Sighing, knowing he wont win this...he never could, the blond nods. "Alright, you bastard, I dont wanta go in smelling like hot sex. So here's what's gonna happen. I'll suck you off, then you'll come with me to this damn party AND YOU'LL BE HAPPY ABOUT IT!"

Shoving his boyfriend against the wall Naruto got the urge to smack the smirk off his boyfriend's face but instead dropped to his knees as he glared up into Sui's mischievous eyes.

"You know I love you, baby." was the husky reply whispered from the taller man's lips as he wiggled his hips seductively.

Rolling his eyes Naruto yanked the zipper down.

-At the party-

Suigetsu walked around with a happy smile playing on his lips as he strutted through the room, eyes catching with Naruto's once in a while and on each occasion he tossed his boyfriend a wink. A small thanks for the little 'moral boost' he had received from him not more than twenty minutes ago. The blond just rolled his eyes and unconsiously wiped at his chin before going back to chatting.

Naruto approached his lifelong friend Sasuke and patted him on the back. "Hey pal, what's up?" The raven haired youth nodded, briefly making eye contact with the blond before letting his eyes roam the room again. Used to his friends aloofness Naruto was prepared to keep up the conversation. He inhaled as he was about to begin talking more, then scrunched his nose in distaste.

"Dude, it smells like nut in here!" he exclaimed loudly, earning him a few glances. Most everyone knew the outspoken male so just laughed it off before returning to their own friends.

Indulging his friend the Uchiha sampled the air. "It smells like cheap perfume and doritos." he raised a brow as he took a sip from his drink, but shook his head instead of commenting farther on the subject.

The topic quickly turned to sports.

Suddenly, as the blond was diving into a heated debate with Sasuke about the proper technique for shooting basketballs he felt like liquid was running from his nose. His hand shot up and cupped his nostrils, thinking a bloody nose was starting. He wiped at it with his sleeve, as all proper gentlemen do, and when it produced no crimson colored stain he shrugged and went back to his conversation.

The feeling didn't go away so the blond began gently sniffing, hoping to keep his possibly runny nose from dripping. He wiped again and shifted his weight uncomfortably.

"Are you alright?" Sasuke asked, finally giving Naruto freedom to confront his problem.

"Yeah man I'm fine. I just need a tissue or something." the raven haired man nodded toward the kitchen, "Yeah cool, be right back then." the blond smiled before bounding off to the kitchen to find a tissue or paper towel to finally bring an end to his misery.

A few seconds passed, Sasuke could hear as the blond unloaded his problem into whatever he had found. A few seconds more passed before a loud shriek sounded through the room, causing everyone to still.

"THERE'S JIZZ IN MY NOSE!"

Sasuke sighed, shaking his head, as the whole party burst into laughter and Suigetsu's smirk broadened into a grin.

-

Authors Note:

Its titled "I smell nut" cause thats what my sister so eloquently shouted before she discovered what her little problem was XD

Understand I didn't write the blowjob in there because I would have thought about it being my sister and -shudders- no thank you buddy!

Hope someone out there got a chucke out of this!


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